I am currently trying to mend a broken heart.
Ok, fair enough... perhaps I should have fallen so quickly, so hard, but one thing I have learnt is that you cannot control your emotions, and who you fall for.
About 6 weeks ago I met this amazing guy. We had a magical connection, and there was sintant attraction and charm. We started dating, however it was not exclusive.
I then went to Sydney, and yes I was naughty, or good - however you wanna look at it, but I never told him, and secondly again it was made clear before I left, that we were not exclusive. It had only been a couple of weeks since we had met.
He's a gorgeous mexican.... amazing personality, and just lovely.
The whole trip I feel was in a way marred by my feelings for him, and the recipocation back from him. There was not a day that went by that he did not phone me whilst I was in Sydney, and we sent various txts all day long. I decided to have my fun whilst on holiday as if we were getting involved, it would be the last bit of random fun I would have.
The big thing was, I needed to tell him about the HIV component of the relationship, and had been dreading it. I got drunk one night in Sydney and decided to come clean and just tell him. He phoned me and said it was all ok, and we would work it out. I felt so safe, and accepted.
I get back, and went straight to his place after spending 5 minutes dropping my luggage off, with his presents. Immediately I felt there was a different viba. I don't know what could have changed during the 3 hour flight from Sydney to Auckland, but long story short he said he didn't feel it would work because he had just come out of a relationship, he was trying to immigrate to New Zealand, and various other reasons. Ultimately he was not ready for a something as he needed to focus on everything else first. I accepted this with a bit of a fight, as where I come from, you fight for what you want.
That was 3 weeks ago... I went online yesterday and found out his profiles say he is looking for a relationship etc. When I confronted him, it came out that he could not accept my HIV and now he has blocked me.
I know this sound dumb, stupid, ridiculous or whatever, but when u have feelings for someone, and you know them you, and a small obstacle like HIV smacks a wedge in due to ignorance, and denial and refusal to accept guidance... it fucking hurts.
He's not blocked me on facebook, and various other sites....
I guess I'm heart broken because... fuck.... I'm still single... I'm apparently an attractive guy, have dated models, and what not else... but here I am single.... and its been 5 fucking years!
And I mean I'm sane, I am not a psycho and what not else... Oh I just don't understand it. Anyway, I think I have shed enough tears over the last 2 days. Any advice as to what I should do next would be welcome!
Ta
A
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
My followers
Grrrrr!
So I decided to update the look and feel of my blog, and I've lost all my followers! FUUUUUUCK!
Hope you find your way back to my blog soon.
So I decided to update the look and feel of my blog, and I've lost all my followers! FUUUUUUCK!
Hope you find your way back to my blog soon.
Sydney Part 2
So I realise a month after getting home, that I have not finished my Sydney Adventure. So apologies for the having a few posts inbetween etc, but life has been slightly hectic.
So... Part 2....
I'm with the Maori dude that I had picked at at Headquarters, or rather who had picked me up and we had gone back to his place first before going off to his dealer. Now I'm going to be honest and say he wasn't my type, but 1) He knew were to find Tina, and 2) he woo'ed me with stories of going to public parks and picking up straight boys.
Finding Tina was easy, and a dream come true. The Straight boys in the park didn't happen, and I think he was bullshitting to be quite honest.
So We went back to his and we played around, played on the roof of the apartment block out in the open completely naked, and then down in the car garage as well. Luckily this was like 4am, and not one was up and about.
We then decided to go and find Tina as it was apparent that she was definitely missing from the party, and having not invited her to party for a previous 2 years, I just wanted to get as fucked up as possible.
So We got to the dealers house who the Maori dude has said he had played with. Well the dealer was fucking hot! Let me tell you. And He had a MASSIVE cock tucked away in a pair of hotpants. So here I was, whilst them two were sorting out the cash, pulling my cock out and started playing with it.
The D didn't need much more promoting, took his cock out (and it was massive - around 10 inches and VERY thick) and pushed me on my knees and fed me his massive cock and invited me back into his 'den of iniquity' complete with sling and another bareback slut. D and I started 69'ing whilst the other 2 played and finally got me up in the sling and started fucking my bare hole raw with that massive cock. Thank gor that Tina was making me feel amazing, and my hole was begging for cock, as ordinarily, I may not have managed such a huge piece of wood fucking me as if there were no tomorrow.
D finally announced he was gonna breed my hole, and politely asked if I would like to take his seed. Uh.... Hello? lol! OF COURSE! So he bred me, and as he pumped that cock of his in me, I miled every last drop out of my used hole. I'd taken so many loads by then, then his cock was slick with cum from I don't know how many others, all nice and mixed up. He continued fucking me gently for a while and then pulled out, and my hole leaked a huge wad of cum on the floor.
I then got fucked by the other dude, but he was quite crap, so not going to go into much detail, and he didn't cum, so it was a waste of my time and his boner.
Finally me and Maori left, and went back to his, and played a wee bit more, and then he invited someone who lived in his building to come over as well as some random.
The random - WAS NOT MY TYPE! How ever the random sensing that I could be bought, suggested we go and find more Tina and so him and I went searching leaving Maori and the other dude to play.
Now I am not a scab, and I would have gladly paid for my own, but if someone wants to give you some Tina Loving, then it'd be rude not to accept and offer your hole to him. Thankfully Tina would fuck me up to the point I just wouldn't care.
So we went and found some, and I thought we were going back to Maori's place, but the dude took me back to his place, fixed me up a nice blast of tina (a very big one too) and administered it. I was Fucked within seconds, and then he took advantage of me, and trust me, I would have had it no other way. I was begging him to "Use my cumhole", "fuck my cunt", "breed me like a bitch" and whatever else, pulling my ass cheeks apart, hoping that I would take his seed. He had a real nice cock too, and kept jabbing away at my hole, till he shot a nice big juicy load deep inside my gut.
I think he must have fucked me for about an hour at least because the afternoon seemed to have passed, and suddenly it was early evening. I decided to leave and went back to my hotel and bounced on BBRT, where I invited 2 more guys to come over and use my hole.
Both of them were really hot, and I found myself being tag teamed between 2 nice sized cocks, bare of course, and finally both of them bred me. By this stage, I had lost count of how many cum loads I had taken (thanks to Tina and being awake for 48 hours and the sheer abundance of it all).
I decided to call it a night, miraculously found a sleeping tablet in my vanity case and went to bed.
There is actually going to be a part 3 to this which I will put up tomorrow...
So... Part 2....
I'm with the Maori dude that I had picked at at Headquarters, or rather who had picked me up and we had gone back to his place first before going off to his dealer. Now I'm going to be honest and say he wasn't my type, but 1) He knew were to find Tina, and 2) he woo'ed me with stories of going to public parks and picking up straight boys.
Finding Tina was easy, and a dream come true. The Straight boys in the park didn't happen, and I think he was bullshitting to be quite honest.
So We went back to his and we played around, played on the roof of the apartment block out in the open completely naked, and then down in the car garage as well. Luckily this was like 4am, and not one was up and about.
We then decided to go and find Tina as it was apparent that she was definitely missing from the party, and having not invited her to party for a previous 2 years, I just wanted to get as fucked up as possible.
So We got to the dealers house who the Maori dude has said he had played with. Well the dealer was fucking hot! Let me tell you. And He had a MASSIVE cock tucked away in a pair of hotpants. So here I was, whilst them two were sorting out the cash, pulling my cock out and started playing with it.
The D didn't need much more promoting, took his cock out (and it was massive - around 10 inches and VERY thick) and pushed me on my knees and fed me his massive cock and invited me back into his 'den of iniquity' complete with sling and another bareback slut. D and I started 69'ing whilst the other 2 played and finally got me up in the sling and started fucking my bare hole raw with that massive cock. Thank gor that Tina was making me feel amazing, and my hole was begging for cock, as ordinarily, I may not have managed such a huge piece of wood fucking me as if there were no tomorrow.
D finally announced he was gonna breed my hole, and politely asked if I would like to take his seed. Uh.... Hello? lol! OF COURSE! So he bred me, and as he pumped that cock of his in me, I miled every last drop out of my used hole. I'd taken so many loads by then, then his cock was slick with cum from I don't know how many others, all nice and mixed up. He continued fucking me gently for a while and then pulled out, and my hole leaked a huge wad of cum on the floor.
I then got fucked by the other dude, but he was quite crap, so not going to go into much detail, and he didn't cum, so it was a waste of my time and his boner.
Finally me and Maori left, and went back to his, and played a wee bit more, and then he invited someone who lived in his building to come over as well as some random.
The random - WAS NOT MY TYPE! How ever the random sensing that I could be bought, suggested we go and find more Tina and so him and I went searching leaving Maori and the other dude to play.
Now I am not a scab, and I would have gladly paid for my own, but if someone wants to give you some Tina Loving, then it'd be rude not to accept and offer your hole to him. Thankfully Tina would fuck me up to the point I just wouldn't care.
So we went and found some, and I thought we were going back to Maori's place, but the dude took me back to his place, fixed me up a nice blast of tina (a very big one too) and administered it. I was Fucked within seconds, and then he took advantage of me, and trust me, I would have had it no other way. I was begging him to "Use my cumhole", "fuck my cunt", "breed me like a bitch" and whatever else, pulling my ass cheeks apart, hoping that I would take his seed. He had a real nice cock too, and kept jabbing away at my hole, till he shot a nice big juicy load deep inside my gut.
I think he must have fucked me for about an hour at least because the afternoon seemed to have passed, and suddenly it was early evening. I decided to leave and went back to my hotel and bounced on BBRT, where I invited 2 more guys to come over and use my hole.
Both of them were really hot, and I found myself being tag teamed between 2 nice sized cocks, bare of course, and finally both of them bred me. By this stage, I had lost count of how many cum loads I had taken (thanks to Tina and being awake for 48 hours and the sheer abundance of it all).
I decided to call it a night, miraculously found a sleeping tablet in my vanity case and went to bed.
There is actually going to be a part 3 to this which I will put up tomorrow...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Toilet Sex
So this morning I went for a job interview with an airline. Looking fucking hot if I do say so myself, the interview process went for 3.5 hours in the City. After I was done, I walked out the hotel where the interviews were being held, and found myself walking towards a public toilet that is well known for some major cruising.
I walked inside, and went to the urinal. Was there 10 seconds, when the cubicle door unlocked, and the door swung open.
There, is his business suit was my Sydney boy (I'll call him Jean Claude as he looks a little like Jean Cluade Van Dam) who had bred me in Sydney as well as a few days ago. Fucking wikkid!!
Standing with his massive cock hanging out, I walked into the cubicle, and immediately went to town on his hard cock. This cock is just awesome. Its about 9 inches long, and just a really hot looking cock. Tastes good too.
Unfortunately we couldn't really exchange much in way of communication apart from the smile of hello etc.
I was on my knees in seconds, slurping on his cock. The dude, is fucking hot as well. I think I've already said I would definitely date him. So I sucked, for a while, annoyed with myself that I hadn't cleaned myself out, as riding him, both of us wearing out suits... would be fucking hot!
After a few mins of me sucking on his knob, he pulled me up and we shared a hungry kiss of pure lust and passion. He then started turning me around, whilst we were still kissing, and I got a bit alarmed as I was worried I wasn't clean.
He then spat on his hand, lubbed up his massive cock, and slowly started pushing his raw cock into my bare hole. I love the way he holds me, touches, me, and still managed to wink at me all at the same time.
He started fucking me gently, as we didn't have much lube, and my god, it was amazing. Again, I was still nervous about not having cleaned out. After about 3 or 4 minutes of him pumping his cock in and out of me, I pulled myself off, and thankfully it was as clean as a whistle.
I then got back on my knees, and started slurping all over his cock, whilst jacking myself off. He didn't last much longer, and shot a huge creamy load down my throat and as I tasted his load, it send me over the edge and I shot my load all over the floor (yeah bit of a waste). I sucked his cock clean, and milked every last drop of that special cum from his knob, still sitting there on my knees in a dirty toilet in my best suit.
Finally, I got up and we walked out together, and chatted for a few mins. Hopefully I am going to see him this weekend. Whoop Whoop!
1 quick lunchtime load down my throat.
I walked inside, and went to the urinal. Was there 10 seconds, when the cubicle door unlocked, and the door swung open.
There, is his business suit was my Sydney boy (I'll call him Jean Claude as he looks a little like Jean Cluade Van Dam) who had bred me in Sydney as well as a few days ago. Fucking wikkid!!
Standing with his massive cock hanging out, I walked into the cubicle, and immediately went to town on his hard cock. This cock is just awesome. Its about 9 inches long, and just a really hot looking cock. Tastes good too.
Unfortunately we couldn't really exchange much in way of communication apart from the smile of hello etc.
I was on my knees in seconds, slurping on his cock. The dude, is fucking hot as well. I think I've already said I would definitely date him. So I sucked, for a while, annoyed with myself that I hadn't cleaned myself out, as riding him, both of us wearing out suits... would be fucking hot!
After a few mins of me sucking on his knob, he pulled me up and we shared a hungry kiss of pure lust and passion. He then started turning me around, whilst we were still kissing, and I got a bit alarmed as I was worried I wasn't clean.
He then spat on his hand, lubbed up his massive cock, and slowly started pushing his raw cock into my bare hole. I love the way he holds me, touches, me, and still managed to wink at me all at the same time.
He started fucking me gently, as we didn't have much lube, and my god, it was amazing. Again, I was still nervous about not having cleaned out. After about 3 or 4 minutes of him pumping his cock in and out of me, I pulled myself off, and thankfully it was as clean as a whistle.
I then got back on my knees, and started slurping all over his cock, whilst jacking myself off. He didn't last much longer, and shot a huge creamy load down my throat and as I tasted his load, it send me over the edge and I shot my load all over the floor (yeah bit of a waste). I sucked his cock clean, and milked every last drop of that special cum from his knob, still sitting there on my knees in a dirty toilet in my best suit.
Finally, I got up and we walked out together, and chatted for a few mins. Hopefully I am going to see him this weekend. Whoop Whoop!
1 quick lunchtime load down my throat.
Monday, June 14, 2010
My Sexy German
Now I know I just put a blog up, but I'm trying to do the chronological order thing. And Yes I haven't even completed my Sydney trip yet.
So Saturday night I met up with this sexy as fuck German bottom. Now I'm more bottom. Fuck, I'm all about the cum dripping out of my hole... but when a 24 yr old German filthy fucker messages u online, and he's oh so fucking HOT HOT HOT, sometimes you need to top.
I had the BEST top fuck I've had in years!!
He came over and we immediately had the chemistry going which was great. I love making out, and it wasn't awkward at all. So He starts sucking me off, and I'm rock hard. I turned him over, and lubed him up and started fucking him. He asked for it rough, and trust me, I promised him I was going to wreck his hole, and wreck his hole I did.
I started out doggy, and fuck.... didn't go gentle on the guy. I rammed it in. He was begging for it!! He took it like a trooper, pushing hard against me to get every inch in. The harder I thrust forward, the harder he thrust backwards. We changed positions, and changed back, and I was flinging him around my bedroom like a blowup doll. We fucked non stop for 30 minutes before I needed a break (more like gasping for air), and the little fucker was still wanting more.
After my break, and I continued fucking his hit tight hole. It was amazing, feeling my raw dick sliding in and out.
Oh and again the best part... he didn't care about the risk. He was neg, but didn't care if he was pozzed or not. Major turn on!!
I fucked German boy for almost 2 hours, before I finally shot a massive load right up his tight little neg hole. Fuck, he was begging for it! After I had cum inside, him, he asked me to stay inside him and continue fucking him whilst he jerked off. He was hard the entire time that I fucked him, up until he shot a huge load all over his gorgeous body. We lay in a heap on the bed, kissing, cuddling etc.
Again, one of the best fucks I've had in a long time.
So Saturday night I met up with this sexy as fuck German bottom. Now I'm more bottom. Fuck, I'm all about the cum dripping out of my hole... but when a 24 yr old German filthy fucker messages u online, and he's oh so fucking HOT HOT HOT, sometimes you need to top.
I had the BEST top fuck I've had in years!!
He came over and we immediately had the chemistry going which was great. I love making out, and it wasn't awkward at all. So He starts sucking me off, and I'm rock hard. I turned him over, and lubed him up and started fucking him. He asked for it rough, and trust me, I promised him I was going to wreck his hole, and wreck his hole I did.
I started out doggy, and fuck.... didn't go gentle on the guy. I rammed it in. He was begging for it!! He took it like a trooper, pushing hard against me to get every inch in. The harder I thrust forward, the harder he thrust backwards. We changed positions, and changed back, and I was flinging him around my bedroom like a blowup doll. We fucked non stop for 30 minutes before I needed a break (more like gasping for air), and the little fucker was still wanting more.
After my break, and I continued fucking his hit tight hole. It was amazing, feeling my raw dick sliding in and out.
Oh and again the best part... he didn't care about the risk. He was neg, but didn't care if he was pozzed or not. Major turn on!!
I fucked German boy for almost 2 hours, before I finally shot a massive load right up his tight little neg hole. Fuck, he was begging for it! After I had cum inside, him, he asked me to stay inside him and continue fucking him whilst he jerked off. He was hard the entire time that I fucked him, up until he shot a huge load all over his gorgeous body. We lay in a heap on the bed, kissing, cuddling etc.
Again, one of the best fucks I've had in a long time.
My Sydney Local - Wants to be pozzed
So I met this hot hot hot fucker in Sydney, who gave me the a massive load at Headquarters. I remember seeing him coming into the club, and really wanting to get with him, but he wasn't into piss, so I stayed at the piss party, and he went downstairs.
After the piss pasrty (from my previous blog) I had gone down stairs, and he had pulled me into a booth with someone else, and the two of them have tag teamed my fuckhole good..... Lets just say Tina was visiting, and my hole could have been fucked for hours.
So I find out he lives in Auckland. We hooked up last week and had an amazing hour long fucking session. Whats hot is the fact that he doesn't know whether he is Poz or not, but wants to be poz. So he fucked me for ages.... in different positions. Awesome guy, massive cock, and amazing kisser. Could actually fall for someone like that. I was covered in sweat... literally dripping, stingin my eyes by the time he was close. He then started pounding my hole, and going for gold! My Ankels were around my ears, his tongue in my mouth, halfway down my throat as he bred me with his seed.
What was great is after he asked to breed him. Like almost immediately. So because I have stamina and can literally fuck a hole for an hour before I get close, and all he wanted was my seed, I wanked for a whle till I was close, then shoved my raw dick inside him and bred his tight maybe neg, maybe poz ass good for him. Fuck... I like a fucker who is begging for poz seed eh! HOT HOT HOT!
I definitely wanna hook up with him again!!
After the piss pasrty (from my previous blog) I had gone down stairs, and he had pulled me into a booth with someone else, and the two of them have tag teamed my fuckhole good..... Lets just say Tina was visiting, and my hole could have been fucked for hours.
So I find out he lives in Auckland. We hooked up last week and had an amazing hour long fucking session. Whats hot is the fact that he doesn't know whether he is Poz or not, but wants to be poz. So he fucked me for ages.... in different positions. Awesome guy, massive cock, and amazing kisser. Could actually fall for someone like that. I was covered in sweat... literally dripping, stingin my eyes by the time he was close. He then started pounding my hole, and going for gold! My Ankels were around my ears, his tongue in my mouth, halfway down my throat as he bred me with his seed.
What was great is after he asked to breed him. Like almost immediately. So because I have stamina and can literally fuck a hole for an hour before I get close, and all he wanted was my seed, I wanked for a whle till I was close, then shoved my raw dick inside him and bred his tight maybe neg, maybe poz ass good for him. Fuck... I like a fucker who is begging for poz seed eh! HOT HOT HOT!
I definitely wanna hook up with him again!!
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